In Loving Memory
Asher Love Daum & Evan Love Daum
December 16th, 2009
-------------------------------------------------------
This is the story of our firstborn sons, Asher & Evan.
In August 2009, I found out that I was pregnant. I remember sitting in my car outside the Mall of America, listening to the voice mail from my doctor over and over. "Congratulations, you are pregnant!" Once I had collected myself enough to drive home, I spent the whole time grinning and talking to myself, and thanking God for His amazing gift.
When Jason arrived home from work, I played it cool, and pretended that I couldn't understand the message from the doctor. I handed him the phone and had him listen. I will never forget his face when he heard, "You are pregnant!" He said, "WHAT!?!?" and immediately dropped the phone, with a HUGE grin on his face.
When I was 10 weeks along, we went in for our first ultrasound. I remember praying for peace and calm that morning, and for God to prepare me for anything. I was so nervous! Little did I know that He had a surprise in store for us. As the tech looked at the screen, she got a smile on her face, turned to us and said, "There are two babies!"
The next couple of months were filled with plans as we fully embraced the idea of becoming parents to twins. We talked and planned endlessly, registered for baby gear, saved as much as we could, took childcare classes. We had our ups and downs, but overall things progressed uneventfully. I grew larger by the day, and we felt the first little kicks of our boys (Evan kicked first).
At 21 weeks pregnant, I had a funny feeling that something was "off" and went to the clinic to have my blood pressure checked. Suddenly, our world spun out of control. I had developed preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. My health was in serious jeopardy. After a week in the hospital, we were left with no choice but to deliver the boys, months earlier than planned.
Asher was born first, at 1 lb. 0.8 oz and 11 1/2 inches long. We held him in our arms and told him we loved him. He reached out his tiny hand and held my finger. Asher lived for 45 minutes, and was cradled and loved every second.
Evan was born after his brother, weighing 8 ounces. He was so tiny, just 8 1/2 inches long. Evan lived for only 4 minutes. He too, was held and surrounded by love his entire life.
Asher & Evan were identical. They had Jason's mouth and my feet. They were fearfully and wonderfully made, perfect in every way.
Our journey to parenthood has been a difficult one, to say the least. Losing our boys is the most difficult experience we've ever been through. We don't pretend to understand why our boys couldn't stay with us, and we don't expect that we ever will. But God has carried us through this storm and continues to help us heal. He is the same today as He was the day we first "met" our babies at that early ultrasound. We have also been blessed to be surrounded by loving friends and family, and a supportive church community.
We will always love, always remember, and always miss Asher and Evan, and they will always be our firstborn sons.
1 comment:
Becky your words are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. I am certain it is a difficult one to tell. I loved reading about you holding your boys, and Asher reaching out and grabbing your hand. Such sweet memories.
Post a Comment